Friday, January 16, 2015

OSCE Compre

Oke, COMPRE membuatku gila. Bener bener gila. Materinya dari tahun pertama ampe tahun keempat. Belum lagi obat dan dosis-dosisnya, ditambah semua materi prosedural yang banyak. Singkat kata, aku butuh konsentrasi dan butuh hiburan.

Untuk mendukung itu, aku memutuskan menonaktifkan twitter dan fb ku haha. Ga tau kapan mau aktifin lagi. Aku mau melihat diriku bisa bertahan ga tanpa social media, sejauh ini sih sedikit berhasil. Fb sih ga ada batas waktu kapan mesti aktifinnya, kalo twitter 30 hari. Mungkin bakalan aku aktifin sebelum batas waktunya abis haha (diaktifin untuk di non aktifin lagi). Yang minta aku aktifin fb sabar ya, paling ga tunggu compreku selesai deh, kamu bebas kepoin fbku hoho.

Masalah hiburan, habis ini aku mau ke purworejo (bareng bule-bule yang ganteng) lanjut ke Bromo, haha. Bahagia rasanya kalo uda tau liburan mau ngapain, seakan menjadi motivasi terbesar "Bersakit-sakit dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian." (Pingin deh disemangatin ama bule-bulenya #eh).

Anyway, keep studying and pray for OSCE!

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Transformation

So, I just saw my old posts on facebook, and I realized that I’ve changed so much over time. On my old posts, I was this cheerful friendly talkative expressive girl who were too open and shared her stories to many people. And me right now, I’m nowhere like that. I’m this cold, reserved, mute, bitter, detached girl. The thing about change is you dont just change drastically over night. You change bit by bit, slowly at a time, not realizing that you are actually going through transformation. But, once you look back, maybe a month ago, a year ago, you realize that you actually have changed so much, that you almost transform into a new person or personality that you almost cant recognize your old self anymore. Or vice versa (you are certain your old self wouldnt be able to recognize you). It’s like, “hey, was this really me?” and “What was going through in my life I could be like this?” and et cetera, et cetera. 

Well, if you ask me If I miss my old self, I dont know. I mean, we alter ourselves because we are evolving our existence through our experience, either consciously or subconsciously. So, who or whatever I’m right now, obviously is the product of my own adaptation technique based on what happened in my life. So, I’ve transformed, either for better or worse, into a much tougher version of my old self. I mean, that’s the main function of adaptation, right? You are evolving into a new species that can serve a better function in order to survivie in the constant changing environment. 

So I cant complain. No, I shouldnt complain, because If I do, then I’m blaming my life, or my self because my life had given me the stimuli (let’s assume this as an attack) and my self had received the stimuli through forming a defence, a wrong kind of defence mechanism. I mean, If I had different set of defence mechanism, maybe I’d have turned into a whole different kind of person. And rather than imagining what I’d have become if I was different  or some events in my life didnt actually take place and that would just give me anxiety or depression, It’s easier just to accept, despite the fact that It’s more difficult to do than saying it. 

But hey, rather than regretting it, why dont I just strive to transform to be a better person? I mean, even our cells, our cellular organelles undergo changing every second, so change is really inevitable. We (I) shouldnt resist the temptation to change ourselves (my self) just because we are ( I am) comfortable in our (my) zone. And sooner or later, your (my) comfort zone will be invaded by new environment, and by that time, It could be too late to adapt ourselves (my self) and we (I) will be left or discarded because we (I) no longer have a role function, either individually or socially to survive in the new place and time. And that’s when we (I) really have to change drastically and It will be much more painful process. So, It’s better to change bit by bit, slowly so we (I) wont be frightened by the process its self, or the product of the person we (I) create.

Well, look what I’ve been mumbling about. Good morning everyone. 

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

No title

There are two reasons i love motorcycles than car 

First, i cant drive. Really, i’ve learned long enough but i still cant drive

Second, it’s faster

Ok, 3 reasons, the last is the adrenalin rush. Especially when you are in hurry, the traffic is heavy, and you have to ride it with speed 60 km/h or more, it’s just beyond words. Your body is in fight or flight mode. Your heart pumps faster, your can hear your heartbeat, your muscle is tensed to act, your skeleton is ready to move, your blood travels faster, your eyes are wary of a small motion, your ears are alert of every sound, every nerve in your body is alive, you will never feel your brain more awakes. And when the wind friction against your skin you now you feel alive. 

I wish i can go around the world with motorcycles.