Growing up

When we are young (I’m not saying that I’m old. Let’s just assume that I was older than I’m right now), we have this perfect ideal world that we create in our mind. We imagine how the world should operate, we picture how our lives should be a few years from now. We have expectation of how we are, what we are, or who we aren when we are older. We believe in those imagination so much that it becomes not merely a daydream, it becomes hope, pray, desire. Sometimes, it can become more powerful than any of that. It becomes a belief, conviction, faith. With imagination as the foundation, and  belief as the pillar, we built our life based on the imagination, and plan our action around that pillar. We are just so idealist we refuse to acknowledge other factors outside those circles. We gloss over things that can ruin our imagination, that can destroy our hope. We have envisioned our future and we forget the indisputable facts, the undeniable reality that is happening around us. There is only one passion in our mind, to develop that imagination into reality.

But as we grow older, we finally see those things that we used to refuse to see. We finally acknowledge there are some factors that we cant control, that can destroy the foundation and the pillar that we have build. We lose our grip to our belief. We will doubt everything and not know what to believe. We realize that reality doesnt always follow what we have envisioned. We become so disappointed that we reject to form any imagination that comes into our mind. We lose our ideals and morals. We turn into a bitter, cynical human being. We no longer hope of better future. Our pray no longer consists of building a future,  but only a chance to survive. That’s when we spend our days merely to go through them, not to live them.